monthsary and of missing someone

It’s been a month since I started my ARV’s.  So far, so good. Except for the confinement about three weeks ago due to my prophylaxis  - Azithro. My meds has been kind to me. And I am hoping and praying that my body will continuously respond to them. 

Today I also went to my grandmother’s grave. I’ve wanted to do so since the day I found out about my condition  but my schedule won’t permit me to. Thanks to the long holiday which coincides with my “ARV monthsary”.  Nanay has always been our refuge.  Finally, I was able to tell her (Yes, every time I visit her, I talk to her) about my condition. I told her that her bunso is really pasaway. I asked her to tell the good Lord and the Blessed Mary to help me with my battle – my lifelong battle. Knowing her resolute faith to the Lord and to the Blessed Mary when she’s still with us, I know that the more that she can talk to them and whisper my pleas. For the longest time, I cried again. Weeping like a child on my Lola’s grave – parang batang nagsusumbong.  I feel like a child again, longing for Nanay’s embrace.

I miss my Lola. She has always been the silent force that binds the family together. 

Nanay, I know you’re home now. While we are still busy doing our mission here. And me, trying to extend my life, continuously watch over us and be our angel.

Nanay joined our good Lord, Holiday 2007.