monthsary and of missing someone

It’s been a month since I started my ARV’s.  So far, so good. Except for the confinement about three weeks ago due to my prophylaxis  - Azithro. My meds has been kind to me. And I am hoping and praying that my body will continuously respond to them. 

Today I also went to my grandmother’s grave. I’ve wanted to do so since the day I found out about my condition  but my schedule won’t permit me to. Thanks to the long holiday which coincides with my “ARV monthsary”.  Nanay has always been our refuge.  Finally, I was able to tell her (Yes, every time I visit her, I talk to her) about my condition. I told her that her bunso is really pasaway. I asked her to tell the good Lord and the Blessed Mary to help me with my battle – my lifelong battle. Knowing her resolute faith to the Lord and to the Blessed Mary when she’s still with us, I know that the more that she can talk to them and whisper my pleas. For the longest time, I cried again. Weeping like a child on my Lola’s grave – parang batang nagsusumbong.  I feel like a child again, longing for Nanay’s embrace.

I miss my Lola. She has always been the silent force that binds the family together. 

Nanay, I know you’re home now. While we are still busy doing our mission here. And me, trying to extend my life, continuously watch over us and be our angel.

Nanay joined our good Lord, Holiday 2007.

liberation

It's Azithro day today. I must admit, with the minor acid reflux I am experiencing right now, I am a bit nervous to take it. But I have to. I know I have to. With closed eyes and a little prayer, I took the tablet. I am hoping that there will be no side effects this time, family is leaving in a while to enjoy "Family Day" Sunday.

Back track last night, after 3 months I finally went out again with friends. After confining myself at home (after learning about my condition), I finally went out again. I must say it's liberating. I am the usual, home-work-home guy. My day usually ends at 9pm after taking my meds. Once in a while, dinner or coffee with officemates or friends but I would always excuse myself and go home early. But last night was dinner, movie and coffee night. I went home around midnight. I was hesitant at first but what the heck, I won't die if I go out once in a while. I must admit, I had fun - again.

I am not thinking so much of the side effects now. I am praying that my body will finally be get used to the meds I am taking. Over all, I am thankful. Thankful about my family and friends who has been my constant support in this battle. My battle. And it's really good to know that you are not alone.

And I am not even sure if the title fits the post. Hehehe!

confined

It is not the ARV's  that sent me to the hospital. It is my prop - azithro. Saturday last week, I was really feverish. I even woke up late, late to hear the mass on Sunday at 6am. My day went on as usual, after hearing the mass, I had breakfast and took my meds (I take my ARV's at 9am). Before lunch I took my azithro, at first I felt nothing not until after an hour when I felt like my stomach twitched.  I tried to ignore at first thinking that it will just go away, just like before. 

The following day, I reported for work having stomach pains and feeling a little nauseated. I would visit the restroom every two hours to vomit. As soon as I got home I called my Doctor, I was scheduled for check up Wednesday last week but it was moved a day earlier because of my condition. She actually wanted me to go to the hospital and have myself admitted as I might get dehydrated. But I told her I wanted to see her first so she can check me. I can still manage. 7am the following day I was already at the lobby of SAGIP waiting for my Doctor. She ordered a series of lab tests. Results were all normal but she still wants me to be admitted so I won’t get dehydrated. I asked if I can be confined in the hospital near our place. She gave me an endorsement letter to her consultant who will visit me in the hospital. 

After almost a day of waiting – no rooms available since Tuesday night. I finally got admitted at quarter past six in the evening. Doctor/Consultant came to visit me that night and checked my lab tests, he said everything is normal, and what I am going through right now is “drug induced gastritis”. Azithro it is!  On Doc’s second visit, we had a small chat. And he told me that given my low CD4 count I have to be careful. We cannot just stop the prop but instead we have to change the way I am taking it, either lower the dosage or take it once a day for three consecutive days. We went for the latter.  Doc was very nice and pleasant. He even told me that he doesn’t want me to stay longer in the hospital. So he sent me home on the third day.

I was given antacid for my stomach. Nevirapine was increased to two tabs a day starting yesterday. Wednesday I’ll be seeing my Doctor for follow up check up. So far, friends na kami ng Nevirapine. I hope that there will be no more side effects.

I remembered lang, the last time I was hospitalized was almost more than a decade ago. And I’m hoping and praying that never again, will I be confined.

8th day

It's been eight days since I started taking the ARV's. So far, no major side effects other than vomitting. If there's a contest on how many times you have to rush to the washroom to puke, I'll be a contender. There are day or two that I really feel sleepy and can't help but to doze off in my cubicle at work. Yes, I didn't take a leave from work even when I started the ARV's, thinking that I will do so if and when something major came up while I am on the window period. Leaves saved.

There are days last week when I thought that the inevitable is coming. For two consecutive days, I felt muscle and joint pains when I woke up. But it faded after taking a hot shower. Temperature is closely monitored, so far, 37.9 being the highest. I still feel feverish at times, I would immediately take my body temp and rest for a bit. Good thing I have a very understanding colleague, that when I told her that I need to rest for a bit or take a power nap, she would gladly say, "Go ahead, we can manage. I'll just wake you up when needed." But of course, I feel guilty.

Next week I am scheduled to see my doctor again. Hopefully until then, nothing unusual comes up.

Together with my sister and friends, we are still hoping and praying for the best.